Sad Over Shoulder : Absolutesnark

# 187 -- Which is the more exquisite sensation: revenge, relief, or vindication?

You do realize how much of a hard question that is for me to answer, correct?

In my life, I have experienced all three of these sensations and each has affected me in very strong ways every time they have happened.

However, having grown and having learned from all of the things I have managed to endure, I would have to choose the sensation of vindication -- with a caveat.

Vindication of others that have been hurt or wronged.

A prime example of this would be when mine and Cole's unborn child used his power to destroy the Seer -- who was trying to use his power to kill me and my sisters.

The Seer had done so much to all of us -- and to Cole. She had caused the situation which had enabled the Source of All Evil to possess him and try to ruin everything we meant to each other and had worked for. She had caused me to have no choice but to harm Cole when I helped my sisters vanquish the Source.

When the Seer stole my child and then tried to kill me, he must have decided that he had enough of this. He turned his powers back on the Seer and destroyed everyone in that chamber that were a threat to me and my sisters.

Even as I mourned the loss of my son, I felt pride in him for what he had done. I also felt vindication for Cole. Our child had managed to get some form of justice for what the Seer had done to him.

Muse: Phoebe Halliwell
Fandom: Charmed
Words: 265
Sad Over Shoulder : Absolutesnark

Challenge 183 -- Tell Me A Secret

Phoebe lay in bed, staring up at the ceiling.

Spending any time with friends that didn't know about what she and her sisters were was always both interesting and a little draining. Sometimes, hanging out with her friends from college made her realize just how different she was from them in so many ways.

Like last night, for instance. They were all sitting around and drinking -- none for her, thanks -- and they decided that they should play a game they had perfected back in college... "Secrets and Lies".

Phoebe hated that game with a passion.

"It's your turn, Pheebs. Tell us a secret."

I'm a witch. I'm one of the Charmed Ones. The love of my life is a demon.

Yeah, none of those were secrets she could really share.

"I'll pass."

"Come on, Pheebs. You never play and you're always so serious now."

Hard not to be serious when a demon can attack you at any moment and you lose the fight.

"Leave her alone. Things have been hard for her and Piper since Prue was murdered."

And that would be why she couldn't play this game of theirs.

She rolled over onto her side and pulled Cole's pillow to her so she could curl up around it.

Sometimes... secrets could kill.

Muse: Phoebe Halliwell
Fandom: Misc TV; "Charmed"
Words: 182
Phoebe Pensive : Absolutesnark

Challenge #180 -- If you could completely start your life over from scratch...

#180 -- If you could completely start your life over from scratch, what would you do differently the second time around (if anything)? Why?

There are so many answers that I could probably give to this question. There are a lot of things that I have notoriously screwed up in my life. I didn't always think things through before I did them and therefore wasn't respectful of what the consequences could be. I have been known to just dive head first into things and not worry until later about what could happen.

So yeah, there are a lot of things I would go back and change in my life.

Off the top of my head?

I would never automatically trusted the Source when he said that he would reset time and save my sisters if I would agree to stay in the Underworld. I would have agreed to what he wanted... and as soon as I knew he was indeed having Tempus reset time, I would have had Cole shimmer me the hell out of there so we could save my sisters.

Had I been there with them, we could have vanquished Shax's ass right then and there and we never would have lost Prue.

Muse: Phoebe Halliwell
Fandom: Misc TV; "Charmed"
Words: 182
P/P Disappear : i_whore

Challenge #175 -- Who's your best friend, and why?

My best friend? That's easy. My best friend in this world is very definitely my big sister, Piper. The reasons for why are many. It doesn't matter what decisions I make or what I do, she's always right there supporting me through everything. When things crash down around me, she's always there to hold onto me and let me cry until I run out of tears. She may not always approve of the things I do, but she always gives me her support to do them. I can talk to her about anything and everything and no matter what she feels about it, she expresses her concerns without making me feel she's judging me. Piper and I have been through more than our fair share of hell and we have always had each other. She's been the one constant throughout my life and it's easy to see why she is my best friend in the world.

Muse: Phoebe Halliwell
Fandom: Misc TV; "Charmed"
Words: 156
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Painted On My Heart : Ishara

Challenge #171 -- What is the biggest mistake you've made in a relationship?

Oh god. Do you have about a year for me to list every mistake in every relationship that I have ever made? Because, you know, I've really made a lot of them. I've never claimed that I was perfect, and I admit that sometimes no matter how hard the guy tries, I just manage to screw things up.

I dated a lot in high school and then after graduation when I ran away to New York. None of the guys I dated ever seemed to satisfy whatever it was I was looking for and the relationship would end after a couple of weeks -- if that. The one guy that lasted longer than a couple of weeks during that time was Clay, but then I ended up leaving him because his life was a bit more dangerous and risky than I was ready for.

Then I came back home and learned what real risk and danger was.

Coming home introduced me to real danger when I discovered my sisters and I were witches -- and then two years later I fell deeply and completely in love with Cole Turner.

Cole was different from any guy I had ever known and I just had to be with him. There was something deep and electric between us. Even after I found out he was a demon, I couldn't stop loving him, and believe me, I tried.

The biggest mistake I made in our relationship? Not listening to him when he was set up to kill a witch. He tried to tell me and I wouldn't listen. I was too upset and too hurt -- and too convinced that he had betrayed us.

It was one of the biggest mistakes I ever made... and the one that I should have learned from.

But I didn't. And I made an even bigger mistake a year later.

And that is another story for a less painful time.

Muse: Phoebe Halliwell
Fandom: Misc TV; "Charmed"
Words: 322
C/P Pain Too Real : tonic2w

Challenge #169 -- Fragile

There are many definitions of fragile...

She faced off with the demon that was advancing on her and her hand twitched slightly.

It had only been three weeks since her sisters had come into the Penthouse she had shared with Cole. Only three weeks since she had been forced to choose between her sisters and the evil bastard that had usurped the body of the man she had loved more than her own life. Only three weeks since the vanquishing spell had destroyed The Source of All Evil -- and her husband, Cole Turner, along with him. Only three weeks since she had lost almost everything that had been important to her.

Now? Now she hunted.

The demon launched himself at her and Phoebe didn't move. When his nails scraped along her side, she turned into him and shoved her hand forward. As he dug deep gouges in her side, she sliced up with the athame she had held hidden along her arm.

She stumbled back as the demon burst into flames. "For him," she said softly as she watched the demon die.

After the demon exploded, leaving nothing behind, Phoebe wiped the athame off on her jeans, and then put it away. The athame lived in a special sheath she had commissioned from a friend of hers who did leather work. The sheath was worn over her shoulder and along her side. It was perfect for hiding under the leather jacket that she had taken to wearing so often nowadays.

Like the athame, the leather jacket had belonged to him.

She grimaced as she looked down to take in her bloody shirt. That one had gotten a little too close to reaching internal organs with his claws. She should probably get home to her sisters or their whitelighter before too long. She would be in for a lecture about endangering herself needlessly like this. However, she would do what she did everytime one of them said something like that. She would tune out the lecture and nod absently at them.

Then she would go up to the Book of Shadows and do more research.

It might have amused some people to draw comparisons between what she was doing now and what Piper had done right after Prue died. If anyone had said that to her or Piper right now, her sister might have blown them up. Phoebe was volatile right now and both Piper and Paige were seeing a fragility in her that they had never seen before. She was moving through life one day at a time -- if you could call what she was doing living. Her heart and soul were gone, taken when they had lost Cole. Piper couldn't imagine the pain her baby sister was in. Cole had been the love of her life and it haunted all of them that they hadn't been able to come up with a way to save him. To see her baby sister, once known as the one with the largest heart and the most giving and trusting nature of all of the Halliwells, so flat and emotionless was something that cut at her heart deeply. Phoebe was empty now and Piper and Paige didn't know how to help her.

So, Piper would watch Phoebe go out on her hunts and pray that she didn't lose her like she had lost Prue. She just could not lose another sister.

The only weapon Phoebe carried on these hunts of hers was the athame.

Cole's athame.

The athame that was starting to become an anathema to demons and warlocks everywhere. They called the athame Evil's Bane and it was well known that it had once belonged to the demonic soldier of fortune, Belthazor. There were many stories about how a Charmed One had come into possession of the athame. They were mostly false.

For her part? Phoebe didn't care what they thought. What she did know was that she would kill as many demons as she could with Cole's athame. It was her focus. She would make them all pay for what had happened to her love.

They would die for the loss of everything she had held dear.

There were many examples of fragile.

Cole being killed had shown the fragility of the heart and soul.

The demons she killed now were showing how fragile they were when compared to a weapon wielded by someone who felt she had nothing left to lose.

Muse: Phoebe Halliwell
Fandom: Misc TV; "Charmed"
Words: 744
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C/P Darkness Together : tonic2w

Challenge #160 -- What Song Best Describes Your Life?

If I had to select only one song that I feel sums up my life and who I am now, it would have to be "Face to Face" by Siouxsie and the Banshees. If you listen to the lyrics, you can almost see every part of my life that the song touches on. If we have to be perfectly honest, the song really does seem to trace the roots and the bloom of my relationship with Cole.

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Muse: Phoebe Halliwell
Fandom: Misc TV; "Charmed"
Words: 1,570 (Not counting the song lyics)
Phoebe Pensive : Absolutesnark

Challenge #159 -- Talk about one thing you hope to do in the upcoming year...

#159 -- Talk about one thing you hope to do in the upcoming year that you have never done before. It could be something significant or something trivial.

Oh that's a fun one. How about the idea that I would really like to get through the year 2007 without having to vanquish someone I love or have someone get killed by evil just because they happen to be someone close to me?

No really, I'm tired of all of the death that comes with the whole being a witch and one of the Charmed Ones. I'm tired of good people dying or being screwed with just because they are either close friends with my family or because they are trying to help us do good.

Just once, I would really like to not have to go to a funeral of someone who had been a pretty good person in life and whom ended up being in the wrong place at the wrong time. I really don't think that something like that is too damn much to ask for.

So, for the coming year, I would like to not watch any more good people die or be forced to vanquish or kill anyone that I care about.

That sound like a good plan?

I certainly think so.

Muse: Phoebe Halliwell
Fandom: Misc TV; "Charmed"
C/P Darkness Together : tonic2w

Phoebe Vs. Evil; It's war! ... Challenge #155

[insert character name] Vs. [insert word of choice here]; It's war! Describe yourself fighting against [insert opponent subject here].

Phoebe Vs. Evil; It's war! Describe yourself fighting against The Source Of All Evil. ... Challenge #155

He's wanted my sisters and I dead for about as long as we have been alive. When we finally came into our powers, it was that much more of a desire of his. He even sent one of his best killers, Belthazor, back into the past in an attempt to destroy our bloodline so that The Charmed Ones would never be born.

Of course, I then did something that made him want me dead on a more personal level.

I turned Belthazor... Cole... against him and the Underworld.

The battles got more deadly after that as I was not only fighting for the lives of my sisters and I, but for the soul of Cole as well. He sent more and more plagues after us and somehow, we always managed to defeat them and thwart the Source.

We had always beaten him... until the day we didn't.

That was the day he sent Shax after our innocent. We thought we had vanquished Shax and then I went to free Cole from the influence of the Source.

Only, we hadn't vanquished Shax and the Source sent him after Prue and Piper. He killed my sisters. In desperation, after Leo told us what had happened, I struck a deal with the Source. If he got his demon Tempus to reset time so my sisters would live, I would stay in the Underworld forever, and the power of the Charmed Ones would be no more.

It shouldn't have surprised me that he lied.

It shouldn't have surprised him that after he let Prue die, I managed to get out of the Underworld.

The Source has been my enemy on very deep and personal reasons. First he killed Prue... and then he took my husband.

A worse enemy he could never have.

My sisters and I vanquished him... and I sit and wait for a sign that he's back. If he does come back?

He won't live long enough to regret it.

Muse: Phoebe Halliwell
Fandom: Misc TV; "Charmed"
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Phoebe Pensive : Absolutesnark

Sunrises ... Challenge #153

Phoebe loved watching the sunrise.

It was one of those times of day where every thing was quiet and still, and there seemed to be no worries or cares in the world. In those few moments between darkness and the sky starting to lighten up, Phoebe felt totally and completely at peace.

She would sit out on the porch swing, wrapped in a blanket and holding onto a cup of coffee. There were no screams and no attacking demons. There was nothing but the normal sounds of the world starting to wake up, punctuated by times of perfect silence.

She was pretty sure that no one else in the house was aware that she would get up every day to do this little ritual. She didn't mind keeping this a secret from Piper, Paige, Cole and Leo. It was her own little thing she did every day to greet the world and to say hello.

"Good morning, Prue, wherever you are. I miss you."

Muse: Phoebe Halliwell
Fandom: Misc TV; "Charmed"